I posted earlier my top 10 rules for success on British philosopher, Alan Watts. Well, instead of this week's Charisma On Command I thought it would be better to have a video of one of Alan Watts' philosophies.
It's about 'worry' and worrying. Everybody worries. What they worry about is different for each person, but everyone worries about something. And this brings me to the most important thing: it is IMPERATIVE that you clear your mind. Whether that is meditating or some thing, you HAVE to shut your brain off for a period of time!
I picked up the book "The Had Hat" because of the tagline on the top - "21 ways to be a great teammate." Note that it doesn't say be a "good" teammate, it says be a "GREAT" teammate.
The book is centered around former Cornell men's lacrosse player George Boiardi, who was the heart and soul of the Big Red during his time in Ithaca before he passed away after being struck in the chest by a lacrosse ball. George was not the best player on the team nor was he the captain, but he was regarded as the leader.
The thing I liked most is it confirmed something I've believed for years and have told student-athletes at the time: you don't need a title to be a leader. You don't need to be named the captain to lead the team. Everybody is a leader in some capacity and at some point during the grind of the season. As a society, we are constantly urged to keep climbing up the corporate latter, that's how you become successful and grow a following. Seeing the term "Vice President of Operations" or "Director of ________" on the resume is the best, but it's just a title. You may make more money and get the corner office with a couch, but it doesn't mean you're a leader.
Whenever discussing this topic, I like to go back and reference the third and final movie from the "Mighty Ducks" trilogy. Charlie quit the team because the new coach took away his captain's "C," which after telling the Ducks' mentor Hanz, Hanz tells Charlie to grow up and it's just a letter. It doesn't take away what's under the "C."
It's the same with everything else in the world, you don't need to be the person in authority to be a leader. All you have to do is look out for the person to left of you and the person to the right of you.
Also, remember if you want to be a leader: "well done is better than well said."
A few years ago I watched Amy Morin's TedTalk on YouTube, then one day late in the summer or early fall I stumbled across her book in Harvard COOP. I've always enjoyed watching self-help videos so I picked up this book. And boy is it an eye opener!
As she talks about in her TedTalk, Amy had rough life. Not only did she lose her mother at the age of 23, but her first husband passed away unexpectedly of heart attack after they were married less than five years. She could of easily rolled herself up into a ball and cry out "why me?" But she didn't.
I don't believe there is one person on this planet who doesn't do ALL 13 things she says the mentally strong don't do. We all fall victim to one of the things at any given moment, the key is knowing when that moment arrives and telling yourself "not helping."
The point that really resonated with me and made the biggest impact was, mentally strong people don't give away their power. At some point in our lives we all had to deal with tough people, maybe it was a boss or a co-worker we didn't like or they were doing something that we didn't like. Instead of getting frustrated with that person over what it was they were doing that was upsetting us, it was better to do one of two things: 1. if we could control it, say something or 2. if we had no control, be like Elsa and "Let It Go!"
The last thing Amy mentions mentally strong people don't do really resonated with me as well. It is not expecting immediate results. I've never been the person that cared for instant gratification, which is why I, personally, don't like social media. I really don't care what a friend's eating for dinner or that they found a $20 on the sidewalk (that's great but I don't need see a picture of it on Instagram). I'm a person that likes the process and journey it takes to get to the destination. When I finally get to where I'm going, I'm kinda already bored with it. It's about the process.
Nothing's wrong with straying far from the herd. Sometimes they are wrong. Believe in your gut instinct! If you believe in something so strongly, stick with it. Don't change it!
You're Braver Than You Believe, Stronger Than You Seem, & Smarter Than You Look
Winnie The Pooh
When you've hit a rough patch, remember the friendly words from Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh "you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you look."
Patrick Bet-David says something I've always believed in, you don't have to have the title to be a leader. Being a leader means looking out for the person to left of you, and looking out for the person to right of you. Looking out for other people makes you a leader.
If there is one person that really exemplifies "ignoring the noise," it's the man who lives the phrase. No not Gary Vaynerchuck, but yes he doesn't care what people think of him. The man I'm referring to is Bill Belichick. Seriously do you see what he wears? Cutoff sweats. Inside out sweatshirts. Flip-flops and jeans. What you see is what you get with Bill and you take him as he is. He's focused on football and winning. That's it!
This past fall (fall of 2018) I had the opportunity to see Arne Duncan, the former Secretary of Education under President Obama (oh, how I miss those days), speak with political commentator David Gergen at the Institute of Politics at the Harvard Kennedy School.
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Duncan and Gergen's conversation about the status of education in the United States. As someone who is passionate about education (K-12 and higher ed.) and helping young children and young adults learn, I was inspired to buy his book so I could learn more about what he had to say.
The book goes into detail how the Bush administration's "No Child Left Behind" Act failed, why he started "Race To The Top," and how he dealt with the haters he accumulated as Secretary of Education. It opened my eyes even more about the problem in education today. It's not about the test scores - it really never was. The question is, are our children truly learning?
Duncan truly values teachers and believes they have one of the toughest jobs. The best teachers should be rewarded, but also when it comes to evaluating those teachers it should be about the PROGRESS of the student not the end result. For example, Teacher A has a class full of honors, straight A students, and Teacher B has a mix of B, C, D students. All of Teacher A's students get A's, but Teacher B's C and D students are able to raise their grade five percentage points, but they are still in the C range. Who is the better teacher?
Many people will say Teacher A because his students are getting A's, but that's only half of the story. Teacher A's students were already high achievers good students when they came to him, whereas Teacher B was dealing with students who were struggling when they came to her. Although Teacher B's students were still C students when they left, they raised their grade by five percentage points, meaning they were learning and understanding. It doesn't matter if it takes you five minutes, five hours, or five weeks to comprehend a concept as long as you learn it, that's all that matters.
People, not just children, learn at their own pace and the best teachers understand that and can adjust their teachings so ALL children can learn not just the one's who it comes easy to.
If you didn't get a chance to be at Duncan and Gergen's conversation on Education & the State of Affairs in Washington you can watch on Harvard Kennedy School's Institute of Politics YouTube channel.
Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends and Influence People" was first published in the 1930s, but still holds so much value today. It teaches people who to deal with other people - even people you may not like - and get what you want. I knew I had to finally make time and sit down and read it, so that's what I did over the summer of 2018, which is one of the reasons I won "Summer 2018."
There were a lot of key principles in the book, but of the ones I took a lot from was "making people feel important and doing it sincerely." Basically, what Carnegie is saying is, whenever you are talking to someone, it is YOUR job to make that person feel like thy are the only person in the world at that given moment. We all have talked to other people who made us feel like that, now it is your turn to do the same thing.
Another thing that stood out to me was part four in the book when it talked about being a leader and ability to change people WITHOUT causing resentment. The second chapter in the part was what really struck me. It begin with a brief story about the day Charles Schwab ran into one of his employees smoking in the steel mills, which a "no-no," but instead of going over and chastising them he calmly walked over to them, handed them each a cigar and kindly asked them to smoke outside.
Now, really this doesn't mean much of anything to any body else, but why it really stood out to me was because, literally, three days prior it mimicked a conversation another athletic director spoke of at conference I attended. On August 9, I attended the GNAC professional development seminar and the Director of Athletics from Wittenberg University was there to speak on the game-day experience for both student-athletes and fans at Division III. He told a story how he was at a basketball game one year and this group of fans/parents were denigrating the officials all game, but the irony of the situation is the group was sitting right underneath a banner promoting sportsmanship. Instead of going over and reprimanding them and make them feel like little kids, he walked over to the group of guys, clasped his hands together and said "fellas I know this is a really tight game, but I would like to direct your attention to the sign that is right above your heads." They looked up and with a stunned look on their faces changed their behavior. See that's all it took. No yelling. No publicly condemning. Just a simple conversation.
Being outwardly obedient, but inwardly rebellious. When you think about it that is exactly describes like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos. All three of them attended Ivy League institutions which means they were obedient enough to obtain good enough grades and extracurriculars to attend but all three had a burning curiosity to make things better for the world.
