Book of the Week: "The Shark and Goldfish" by Jon Gordon

Are you a shark or are you a goldfish?

Confused? I'll back up. *Beep beep beep* Earlier last week I stopped by the office of a softball coach I worked with when I was at Newbury. She had on her desk two books: Simon Sinek's "Leaders Eat Last" and Jon Gordon's "The Shark and Goldfish." It's totally appropriate for a multitude of reasons, but mainly because Simmons' school nickname is the sharks. Another reason is it fits the coach's personality perfectly!

The end of the 2018-19 year was her fourth - third full - year at Simmons and she took the Sharks to conference title game and earn the GNAC coach of the year this spring. Although I'm apparently the president of her fan club, her success doesn't surprise me. Four years ago when she first accepted the job, I remember telling a fellow colleague "you guys just got one of the best softball coaches, I guarantee in four years she will have Simmons playing in the championship game and win coach of the year!"

Three years later ... I was right. (I'm really getting tired of hearing those words "I was right" ... uh, nah not really.)

Before I get into "The Shark and Goldfish" let me preface that Jon Gordon was also the author of "The Hard Hat," the story about former Cornell lacrosse player George Boiardi. It was the "Book of the Week" for the week of January 27 - go check it out. But I digress, now back to sharks and goldfish.

The book begins with this lovely little goldfish, Gordy. Gordy starts out living in the ocean before he is caught by young boy with plastic bag. The boy takes Gordy back to the upper part of the beach. He and his father build a little bowl in the sand, and fill it with water for Gordy. They do everything you'd do if you had a pet fish. They feed him and take care of him.

But then all of sudden a big wave rolls in, destroying what the boy and his father built and sweeping Gordy out to sea. Of course the young boy is devastated and so, too, is Gordy. Prior to returning to the ocean, Gordy was taken care of. He was fed and taken care off, now he is alone. This is where he runs into a shark named Sammy.

Despite Gordy's physical limitation of being a goldfish and the negative reactions from other goldfish, Sammy teaches him how to be shark.

Now what's the big deal about this story, you ask?

What exactly is the difference between a shark and a goldfish? Well, let's take a closer look. Typically, a goldfish lives in a fish bowl. The bowl is clean, they are fed regularly and everything is taken care of for them. They live the good life. But sharks, they are hunters. They are grinders. If they want to eat, no one is coming to give them food, they have to go out and find it themselves. That's the difference.

Life is no different. You can be a goldfish and life be easy, simple. Knowing everything is being taken care of. Knowing when you're going to eat and what it is. It's easy. But being a shark is way harder. It's not easy, you're constantly fighting and battling, it's not for the faint of heart.

Sharks believe there is always an abundance of whatever they want and they go out and get it; goldfish, on the other hand, think small - there is only so much to go around. One has faith, the other is fearful.

Faith and fear have two things in common. The first one is obvious and quite sophomoric, they both start with the letter "f." However, the second thing in common is a bit more philosophical. Both are terms for the future. Faith is having a positive outlook of the future, while fear is portraying a negative future. It all boils down to this, why would you ever want portray something negative and have fear?

So here's the question again: are you a shark or are you a goldfish?

Book of the Week: "A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood"

"Currently, I'm in the middle of reading Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book "Flow"about what makes for optimal experiences and how to achieve flow in your everyday life. I'm reading this book at the same time I'm plugging away at Michelle Obama's "Becoming" so this is one of the reasons you haven't seen many posts. But I can't keep my loyal fans and readers much longer. Today is the perfect day to post a book I've had since the beginning of summer. I recommend you all go pick up a copy - and literally pick it up don't order it as an e-book.

As many of you saw the trailer for Tom Hanks' new movie came out today and it got everyone, and I mean everyone, buzzing. The legendary actor's latest role is Mr. Fred Rogers, yes THE Fred Rogers in the move A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood set to be released in theaters this November. In case you haven't seen the trailer because you live under a rock, I've embedded it for your viewing pleasure below.

First things first, although my first choice of the actor to play Mr. Rogers was former Harvard ath. comm. intern Conner Grant, I will admit Tom Hanks was best for this role. Think about it for a minute, the man who voiced Andy's best friend Sheriff Woody from the wildly popular Toy Story series, is now playing the man all millennials grew up watching. How mind-blowing is that?

Not only was Woody Andy's favorite toy and best friend, Woody exemplified all the qualities of a true best friend. Andy put it best in Toy Story 3 "he's brave like a cowboy should be, kind, and smart, but the thing that makes Woody special is he'll never give up on you ... ever ... he'll be there for you ... no matter what."

Mr. Rogers was our childhood. Even in the trailer the reporter's girlfriend told her boyfriend "don't ruin her childhood." As we all were growing up and our young, impressionable minds were still developing, it was gratifying to be able to watch a great, kind-hearted human on television to help mold us into becoming the best person we could. And there was no limit to Mr. Rogers' love. After the September 11th attacks, he put out a PSA about in times of trouble "look for the helpers." With everything going on in the world today and so many distractions, we need Mr. Rogers now more than ever.

Earlier this summer I was enjoying one my favorite pastimes - walking through the COOP and browsing all the books in hopes one would catch my eye. And one did! It was an illustrated book entitled "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" and contained with illustrations all the songs from his 912 episodes, including the iconic theme song as well as some others that maybe you forgot about. But when you see them it brings back waves of fantastic memories.

I'll share a few of my favorites.

One of them, that I really don't remember being a song, but whatever, is "Be The Best Of Whatever You Are." It is something that I value, continuously push across and is something I'm still trying to work on in myself every day. It's about being the best at whatever you're doing. If your job for the day is to pick up of dog crap, well you might as well be the best dog crap picker-upper in the world! It's about having a sense of pride and ownership in your work.

Another good one is "It's You I Like." I remembered this song instantly because the picture next to the lyrics was an illustrated picture of the time the little boy with muscular dystrophy visited Mr. Rogers and the two of them sang this song together. The meaning behind it is simple, you like the person not the things he / she can do.

  

         

BOOK OF THE WEEK: "What Made Maddy Run" by Kate Fagan

I'm not entirely sure what made me pick up the book when I saw on the Barnes & Noble bookshelf a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because I've always been someone who cares deeply about the study of mental health - especially in young adults, but also Madison Holleran was an Ivy League student-athlete.

There is an unfair stigma that is thrown on Ivy League students, not only student-athletes. On the outside looking in, everyone assumes these kids have it put together. They are excellent students, many receiving 4.0 GPAs and 1600s on their SATs in high school; their extracurriculars are immaculate, four-time varsity soccer player two-time captain, National Honors Society, president of the cooking club. They look like they have it put together. But really they are just kids.

The quote on the back cover by Washington Post columnist Carlos Lozada sums up the pressure young college kids face today. By the letter of the law, college students are legally adults, but when you really look deeper, they are still just kids. They are 18-, 19-, 20-, 21-year-old kids who  are thrown into a very competitive environment and many living far away from home for the first time in their lives. Now add the universities throwing a lot on its students. It's arduous and stressful.

Let's have a little bit of fun. Now, throw another ball into the arena: social media. Today's college students are glued to their phone. If it's not Twitter or Facebook, it's Instagram or SnapChat. They are are seconds away from sending their friends the perfect picture from a Saturday night party on campus. Social media is not real life.

We look at college students students - especially those at Ivy institutions - as appearing like they have it all together. At Penn, the students actually have a term for this it's called "Penn Face" - "putting on a facade that you're perfect and your life is perfect, no matter how pressured you are to keep up with school and social life."

That type of attitude and outlook is begging for trouble. Nobody's life is perfect. Everyone is fighting some inner struggle, but the best thing to do is acknowledge their struggle with mental health and anxiety. It is what allows them to keep playing by talking to somebody about the things that are going on.

On side note, the hyperlinked article, from four years ago, that defines "Penn Face" is interesting. A Penn freshman, at time, indicated Penn's students' disdain for its Ivy counterpart, Harvard.

I wasn't a student at Harvard, BUT I can tell you from experience, Harvard is the institution - not just in the Ivy League but in nation - that is furthest along when it comes to prioritizing both physical and mental health. I've worked with many people on the campus and when I say they truly care about their students, it is genuinely sincere - and that goes for staff as well as the students. Everyone is there to help each other.

If you're in college athletics or work with high school and college age students, then this is a must read book. It gives superb insight into the life of students who are trying to find their way in this life.

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