BOOK OF THE WEEK: "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

It is a classic. I've always seen it in the Harvard COOP while perusing the store, but I never picked it up in bought it - until a few weeks ago. And boy was it one of the best things I've ever done (well that and maybe accepting an offer to work at Harvard). 

Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl lived in Austria and was one of the people taken to work in multiple different concentration camps - including the fabled Auschwitz - across Eastern Europe under Hitler's regime during World War II. He penned Man's Search For Meaning to give a visual description about what life from the inside of a concentration camp as well as teach us to find meaning in the terrible things that happen. Suffering is an inevitable part of life, but we have to learn to cope and move forward. 

There was one time during Frankl's three years inside a labor camp that was really insightful. He was amongst a group of prisoners that was moved for a brief period of time form Auschwitz to another location (Dachau). This camp had no crematorium and no gas so prisoners could not be taken straight to the gas chamber, they would have to wait for one of the "sick convoys" to take them to Auschwitz. Because these prisoners would have to wait there was no immediate fear in their minds that they could be executed at any moment since the camp had no way to do so and had to wait for transportation to another camp. 

This made the prisoners who visited Dachau from other camps, like Frankl, incur a feeling of envy. Dachau prisoners didn't have the same worries and were able to communicate with outside family members that Frankl and his fellow Auschwitz prisoners did not have. But you also have think that prisoners who lived permanently in the Dachau camp, probably did not recognize they have it better. 

When a situation is all that we know, we don't realize how good we may have it, because that is all we know. And it works the other way as well. For example in the prison camp example, if all you ever knew was Auschwitz, you would think all camps are like Auschwitz and all prisoners have the same fears, when that is not the case. 

I think back to my time at Newbury where we literally had nothing in terms of facilities. When people from outside the New England region would come to campus - like they occasionally did - one of the first questions was "I don't see any fields." The answer from us was pretty straight forward "well ... there aren't any ... on campus." It was tough for people to wrap their head around jumping in a 15-passenger van and drive to and from practice, every, single day. If you were a student-athlete and missed the van, well you missed the van, you had to figure out how to get yourself there. 

On game-days forgetting something was the worst. If you left a ream of paper or an ink cartridge in your desk drawer and you were already at the gym, it was a 15-minute drive back to campus and you just prayed you didn't hit all the red lights. I've done it before and it was not an enviable position to be in, but at the time it was all that I knew. 

When I got to Harvard, everything was right there, if you forgot something it was a two minute walk back to the office. There were some exceptions like wrestling, volleyball and fencing all still had offices and team rooms across the river in the Malkin Athletic Center. That made me reflect back to my Newbury days and really think about not leaving anything back in the office, because it was not a quick walk back - especially if it was in the middle of January with snow, ice and freezing temperatures. 

It all comes down to perspective and the experiences of all involved. Something to really think about. 

Book of the Week: "Think Like A Monk" by Jay Shetty

I've watched his videos on YouTubes and saw him appear on talk shows, such as Ellen DeGeneres. He's the British-Indian author, Jay Shetty. After graduating from university, but before he started using his soothing and calming voice to create mental health videos, Shetty spent time as a monk. Yes a REAL monk. 

Living fully as a monk turned out to not fully be for him, and returned to the more modern life of technology. He never forgot the things he learned as monk and brought them to everyone else in the modern world. 

"I'm Not What I Think I Am And I'm Not What You Think I Am; I Am 'What I Think You Think I Am'"

Sit on this early 20th Century quote from Charles H. Cooley. It certainly is puzzling, but it offers a glimpse into our identity and how we want people to see and think of us. We are all playing a role in the different aspects of our lives that we can never truly be our authentic self - but there really is nothing wrong with that. There are times we have to play a certain role and we need to be accept it.  

It leads into the next topic of being your own best friend. No one person can make you happy. Your happiness is your responsibility. You can't put that on any one person, it's not fair to them and it's not fair to you. You have to almost look at yourself from the outside and think about yourself as though you're helping a friend that you care about and do the things you would suggest to them. When you learn to become your own best friend, you realize nothing else matters. 

Be Like Salt

To those who are food connoisseurs and really enjoy all their meals down to every last bite. Yes there are people like that - I'm not one of them - but these people can tell if a meal is perfect or is lacking enough seasoning. Salt is one of the things food connoisseurs find a dish is either lacking or too much. It takes the blame for why a dish is not good, but when a dish is good no one notices. No says "this is excellent, it must have just the right amount of salt." 

Many things in life are like salt, it's not noticed until you don't have it any more. In current times, the ability for a quick conversation with a colleague or a friend is a perfect example. Six months ago this was never a problem. If you had a question, you could always go down the hall or pop into their office, but we don't have that right now. The coronavirus pandemic had stripped away that ability, for safety concerns. Professionally, athletic communications plays the role of salt in a university athletic department. You don't realize how valuable those professionals are until they aren't there. 

"Coldness Is A State of Mind" 

This phrase was said in jest three years ago before a long day at the Harvard athletic complex. It also happened to be one of the coldest days in the fall with temperatures dropping to under 40 degrees. When the day begin we were discussing how cold it was and I chime in with "coldness is a state of mind," an attempt to convince myself it was not terribly, terribly, terribly cold. But it is the case.

We have to convince our "monkey mind" of things. Your thoughts of situation is going to affect your attitude as well as behavior. Remember as Dr. House said in the episode "Airborne" "if you're brain thinks you're sick, it makes you sick." Your mind is powerful and can make your body do things impulsively, but one also has to remember that "you are not your thoughts, you are just aware of your thoughts." 

Gratitude Letter

One of the things I admired most about my time at Harvard was the department's commitment to writing "thank you" notes to colleagues at the Thanksgiving holiday. It is probably the only time any one in the department writes hand-written notes, but brief wrist pain is a minor inconvenience for the serotonin that floods your system when you receive all the positive notes from your colleagues. It's special and was something I incorporated at others places I have worked outside of Harvard and I know those colleagues appreciate it. Not sure how I'll continue the trend of writing "thank you" notes this year with COVID, but it is definitely something I will continuing in 2020. 

Volunteering

To say the year 2020 has been a frustrating year would be an understatement. The year has seemingly abided by Murphy's Law - if something could go wrong, it did. But to quote Harvard men's basketball coach, Tommy Amaker, "you have to adapt." We lost sports for a brief period of time. Pro sports came back, but much of the collegiate sporting world has yet to return. It leaves a gaping void to everyone who loves sports and college athletics. However, I turned that into a positive and found an opportunity to help those who are less fortunate by volunteering at the West End House Boys & Girls Club delivering groceries to families of club members who were unable to leave their home for one reason or another. 

Volunteering and giving back not only helps others, but it helps you. You feel a sense of accomplishment and another rush of serotonin when you're doing something good for others. So do something good and volunteer. 

Self-Awareness

The key in life is self-awareness - knowing what you want and what you like. No one can make you happy, only you can do that, which is why it is even more paramount to be your own best friend. When you finally know what you want and what makes you happy, the right people and things will fall into your life. 

Book of the Week: 'The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson, M.D.

The first time I heard about this book was six years ago. Boston College men's ice hockey coach, Jerry York, gives it to his first-year class to read and present to the team on over the past two decades. It's one of the reason's Coach York is one of most successful coaches. 

Too often, we, as a society, are looking forward to tomorrow and at the next big thing. We are a very goal-oriented society and there is nothing wrong with that, we needed to be. Goals keep us moving forward, but they can be dangerous sometimes. If we are constantly searching for the next thing, we miss what is is happening at the moment. To quote Ferris Bueller "life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." 

We do this a lot in sports. We are so focused on chasing the championship. Everyone wants to be Lakers, the last team standing at the end of the season, but not everyone appreciates the route it takes to get there. Holding the trophy at the end of a long year is great, but what is equally as important is appreciating the little things that it took to get there and being in the moment. 

That is what "The Precious Present" is about. It is about living in the moment. There is no tangible "present" as the little boy becomes perplexed thinking about. The "present" the elderly man is talking about is abstract, it's the here and now. 

Having goals is important and wanting to be better is great, but it is also 'ok' to live in the moment. You worked hard to win the trophy, get your dream job or earn that coveted promotion, you should be happy and should celebrate. It's a great accomplishment. 

It's all about those small moments, which add up to the big moments. Little drops make big drops. 

BLOG: College Athletics During A Pandemic

There were a few firsts this weekend. For the first time in seven months I witnessed a live sporting event in person with Boston College volleyball opening its abbreviated fall schedule with a pair of matches against Louisville, Friday and Saturday. 

From a safety standpoint, it was terrific. Boston College did a great job with keeping everyone safe. Before you were allowed to enter Conte Forum your temperature was taken through a thermal camera before filling out a pre-screen questionnaire saying you don't have symptoms and have not been exposed to anyone who has it. Once I was cleared I was given a blue (green on Saturday) bracelet to put on then I was allowed to enter the building. 

Inside Power Gym, the scorer's table was reserved for the two scorers, clock operator, P.A. and replay official. Across the court in the stands were broadcasters, the great tandem of Bill Spaulding and Eric Gallanty. About 15 feet away from Bill and Eric, was where myself, Tyler, and Brendan camped out to stat the game. We were all appropriately spaced out and wore masks the entire duration we were inside the facility. 

On the court, there weren't major changes. All players, whether playing or not, wore masks even while playing, while all coaches and athletic trainers kept their masks on. Typically in volleyball the two teams exchange sides in between each set, but that was eliminated. (This will play a key role in the second new first from this weekend, but that will be explained later). There were no pre- or post-game handshakes by the teams or coaches, but other than these small changes it was just a regular college volleyball match. I'm very thankful to Boston College and the Boston College Athletic Department for providing student-athletes with a safe environment to compete as well as a safe place for staff to work. 

The second first was, it was my first time using the new statistics software NCAA Livestats. I had the privilege to see NCAA Livestats for volleyball and soccer in action at ECAC-SIDA last June, but I never actually used it during a real match - until this past weekend - and I don't think I ever want to go back to the old software. 

It is an easy software to use and quick to pick up. One of the knocks of NCAA Livestats predecessor was it is not intuitive, but the new software is just that. After clicking on the number of the player who is serving, the software remembers that for as long as her retains the serve. No longer is it necessary to enter every sub each time, but only the first time they enter in that set. When entering starters now you can enter both liberos (prior you could only enter one since that software was written BEFORE volleyball changed rules of allowing two liberos). 

However, learning a new software did not come without its challenges. The first one we encountered was because it is so intuitive, it switches sides between sets, but since we are in COVID times the teams weren't switching sides between sets so it made it a little difficult. But we figured out we could flip the sides manually back easily so it became less confusing. The second thing we found difficult was learning to a new way to push to our livestats provider (SideArm and StatBroadcaster). 

We're still learning and getting acclimated, but NCAA Livestats gets two big thumbs up from me. 

BLOG: Don't Waste This Crisis: Use This Opportunity To "Go Big"

While I'm not a huge Jordan Peterson fan, he did an hour long interview with American entrepreneur, Patrick Bet-David, for Bet-David's YouTube channel Valuetainment last summer.  At the beginning of the conversation, Bet-David brings up the following phrase to Peterson: "Tough times produce strong men; strong men produce good times; good times produce weak men and weak men produce tough times." 

Bet-David went on to ask the question, "if that it is true, where at we at today?" Now this is where the year, 2019, is paramount. We were in good times and as Peterson mentioned "there was plenty to optimistic with a healthy dose of attentive caution." If we plug the situation into the phrase, it would only be fitting that those good times were producing weak people. 

Now, let me make one thing clear the term "weak" is not to be construed as "offensive," but a way to connect the time with the personality of society. In good times, people don't have a lot to worry about things are going well - they have a well-paying job that challenges them in the right way, the economy is going well, there's no outside force such trying to harm them. There really was little to worry about a year. We were in good times. 

Flash forward 13 months later, we are in the middle of a global pandemic that has cost over 200,000 Americans their lives, social injustice and racial tension with a lack of leadership on the national stage. The concern of the highly contagious and deadly virus shutdown the economy, businesses were affected forcing them to layoff or furlough many staff. Now not only were people worried about contracting the virus, but also worrying about whether or not they would still be employed. 

Things quickly shifted from good to bad times. The times are cyclical and if are to believe in the pattern, these tough times will produce strong people. 

These times we're in right now provide us with a great opportunity and we need to take advantage of it. Last week I listened to a  Zoom talk by Ric Elias, the CEO and Co-Found of Red Ventures as well as BC and Harvard Business School grad. Other than being a collect of bad winesª he said something that stood out "luck comes dressed as a challenge" and that is exactly how he and his team are looking at these times. 

He told his leadership team many times, "we are not going to waste this crisis." What he means by it is they are not going to come out of this grateful that it passed, but grateful that it happened. Figuring out ways to re-invent the way they do business and what changes can be made. That is a tremendous outlook to have during a difficult time and will ultimately produce the strong leaders needed to produce the good times we wish to see in future years.

ª - Ric Elias is a collector of bad wines because he drinks the good ones. So in life you should collect bad wines. 

Book of the Week: "The Power of Positive Leadership" by Jon Gordon

COVID-19 has changed the way we see the the world and changes to all professions are coming - if they haven't already. But there is one thing that the COVID-19 pandemic has not changed. What has not been affected, but will be growing is greater collaboration. 

We have been isolated physically by the virus, but we don't need to be. Now more than ever, communication and collaboration with each other is paramount. I've pulled a bunch of bullet points from Jon Gordon's book that most effectively highlight the importance of finding the positive even in the darkest of times. 

While collaboration and facilitation moves to be the norm as we progress forward, it is not going to be easy. All facilitators will run into issues when trying to collaborate. It's going to happen. Not everyone may buy in, but it's important to not to run ahead. It's way easier to go all in as a team than to run ahead. 

This leads into our next point: not letting our inner reptile eat our positive dog. There comes a time when busyness overtakes us and we feel we have more things on our to-do list than there are hours in a day. When this occurs, we are focused on doing the things we must do. We are in survival mode, we are focused less on uniting people and bringing them together. Essentially, our reptilian brain is taking over and eating our positive dog. 

As a nation, we our reptile is currently enjoying our positive dog for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Between the pandemic, the continued fight for racial equality and the lack of national leadership, there is not much unity for people to be positive about. 

But that's exactly what we need to do as a nation. In tough times, we have to be telling ourselves a positive story. Remember right after the Boston Marathon bombing, the city rallied around everyone and coined the phrase "Boston Strong?" It was a horrific event, but in an effort to show resilience - which us Bostonians are known to have - we told stories of courage, faith and unity. Turning a negative into a positive. Think back to your old junior high algebra courses and learning when you multiple two negatives it turns into a positive? 

Many people have said 2020 has been an absolute disaster of a year. But has it really? If we really try hard we can probably find some glimmer of hope. 

For me it was winning the club championship for the third time. It was not just my third title, there were many things that made this year's championship a special one.

First, it was the first one I won in match-play. The two other championships were stroke play events. I've always been the better stroke play player - I don't make many mistakes and when I do, I try to keep the high numbers off the scorecard. (Something I attribute to coach, who always preached "minimize the damage - a six is better than a seven, a seven's better than an eight.") Match play has always been tougher. Going head-to-head with my opponent. And the player I drew in the semifinals was a formidable match play player. She could outdrive me and pull off shots that I could not hit, so that win was something special. 

Second, I had to keep the every five year streak intact. The last championship I won was back in 2015 and the first one was in 2010, so it was only natural for me to win 2020. In fact was chatting with a fellow colleague in his office in January saying "yeah I'm a pretty good golfer, I have my name on the board a few times, 2010, 2015 ... going for the every five year thing." He smiles and says "it's 2020." 

And finally, the person I was going up against also had two previous championships. Could I really let her get her third championship? And more importantly the two years she won (2016 and 2018), I was her caddy. There was NO WAY she's was getting her third without me on the bag. 

So it all comes down to how you look at 2020. Are you a Tigger and can see the positive or are you Eeyore?* 

* - Note this reference to being a Tigger vs. Eeyore came from the late Carnegie Mellon computer science professor Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. And it was that "Last Lecture" that served as the inspiration for the title of this blog. 

BLOG: We Need "Ghostwriter" Now More Than Ever

One of my favorite shows growing up in the '90s was 'Ghostwriter.' Airing just as school let out at 3 p.m. it was something I looked forward to everyday. Tuning in to the group of five junior high teens from Brooklyn, New York attempt to a five-arc mystery case with the help of their friend Ghostwriter, who was invisible to everyone but them. It was a great show, I even got a classmate hooked on the PBS show - he made his own Ghostwriter pen. 

Well, right now we could use some re-runs of "Ghostwriter." First off, the Ghostwriter Team is very diverse. Made up of an African-American (Jamal, the one who started the whole thing), Asian-American (Tina, who is first generation American with parents from Vietnam), two latinx siblings (Alex and Gaby, who like Tina are both first generation American's with the parents immigrating from El Salvador) and one caucasian American (Lenny). Later, the team would grow to include another character from Latin America (Hector), another African-American (Casey, Jamal's cousin) and one more white character (Rob). The diversity on the show is crucial. 

The final story arc of season one "Building Bridges" bears striking resemblance to the tough times we are facing today in regards to racial injustice. The arc begins with Lenny and Alex waiting for a fellow classmate (non-Ghostwriter team member) to work on their preparation for the school's annual talent show. But when their classmate arrives, both Lenny and Alex learn, to their horror, their classmate was mugged by a new street gang that moved into town. 

The entire arc revolved around the violence and hate that was growing on the streets. Each member of the the team dealt with some form violence or racial hatred in some form or another. But Rob was the one most affected.

Writing a story on the school's track team, Rob befriended one of the top runner's on the team, Victor Torres, who had just transferred and was an ex-gang member. The pair were walking home when they run into Victor's former gang, the Thunderheads, and the leader called Rob a "white boy." It shook Rob, as he never experienced that before, so he went and talked with Jamal, who recalled the time he encountered racial hatred. 

It wasn't the last time in the arc Rob would feel conflicted. The son of a military father, he was constantly moving around and never had time to make many friends. All he wanted to do was make friends, he didn't want to hate anyone or be hated himself - which he felt when he was beat up by the Thunderheads trying to look for Victor and stumbled into their hangout. 

On top of all this, the school was ready to cancel the talent show because of all the violence in the neighborhood and the school. (The school was being vandalized by what was thought to be the Thunderheads, but was actually a current student who was angry at Victor for supplanting him as the anchor on the relay team.) The talent show committee persuaded the school administration to keep the show and re-named it to "A Community Jam Against Violence." 

There's so many striking similarities to today. The cancel culture has become the most prevalent today - mainly because of COVID-19, but the racial tension only adds to it. Instead, of being quick to pull the trigger and cancel something, think about positive alternatives that can be done safely that will bring people together. It is what Lenny and Alex did with their talent show, turning it into a forum against violence. 

We need "Ghostwriter" now more than ever. 

Watch "Ghostwriter: Building Bridges" - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4