Book of the Week: "Talking To Strangers" by Malcolm Gladwell

When Malcolm Gladwell comes out with his first book in six years, it's a no-brainer that I'm going to pick it up and it did not disappoint. It is, in my opinion, his best piece of work since "Outliers." As he did presenting the concept of the 10,000-hour rule and why members of the Canadian junior hockey team were born in the early months of the year, Gladwell paints a great picture of why our interactions with people we don't know are the way they are.

He also takes a shot at at the TV show "Friends," which gives it another check for me. Sorry to all the "Friends" fans reading this, but seriously the show is so fluid it's tough to follow - Ross is doing this, Rachel is doing that. Or maybe it's just too phony and no acts like that in real life that bothers me. Who knows!

But that is exactly, what Gladwell says, is wrong about how we view strangers.

We expect people to be transparent in our interactions with them. If what we are seeing doesn't line up with what is happening, then an alarm goes off in our head that says "something's odd about this person" when in reality, nothing may be. The person may just be mismatched. The show "Friends" everybody is perfectly matched, but that is not reality.

Bernie Madoff comes across as this likable, charismatic guy, which is what made people want to invest with him, but the reality, he was a sociopath, who was stealing people's money. On the flip side, Amanda Knox, the college student studying abroad accused murder and spent four years in an Italian prison, was just the opposite. Her outward demeanor, presenting herself as uncaring and callous during the investigation, made her a prime suspect.

["13 Reasons Why" season three SPOILER ALERT!!!]

Knox's situation is not all that much different than what made Clay Jensen, in season three of "13 Reasons Why," the person of interest in Bryce Walker's murder. Clay wasn't a bad kid and certainly not capable of committing murder, but the fact Clay was so mismatched made the sheriff believe he had the right guy.

Our whole concept of transparency is wrong. As a society, we also tend to "default to the truth." We give people our trust first instead of questioning them. This works well - most of the time. We trusted Bernie Madoff because of what he presented. We thought Knox was the murderer because she acted odd. Penn State president, Graham Spanier, defended Jerry Sandusky for so long because he believed in the man Sandusky was. But this is where it leads us off the beaten path.

It took a paranoid, but smart man like Harry Markopolos to figure out Madoff was pulling the bag over our eyes. It took 11 years before Sandusky's actions finally saw the light and the administration was turning a blind eye. But really the administration wasn't - they genuinely believed Paterno and Sandusky.

While you may think it is vital that we should be like Markopolos and question everything, we also need to be a little bit like Spanier. For our society to function well, we need a little bit of both.

Gladwell concludes the book with the same case study he started: Sandra Bland. If only Officer Encinia defaulted to the truth and acted like Graham Spanier, Bland would still be alive today.

BLOG: "From The Rough"

One of my all-time favorite movies I've watched was on the Golf Channel (what a shocker) and really exemplifies myself and what drives me. It's a golf drama based on the life of former Tennessee State men's golf coach, Catana Starks.

A former women's swimming coach, Starks takes over the newly formed men's golf team at Tennessee State, but she doesn't get the same support from the new athletic director that the other sports do. The scholarships she can offer aren't as good as some of her other colleagues. Good golfers are not pounding on her door to play at a school with a first-year golf program and first-year female head coach at an HBCU. On top that the athletic director has it out for her.

But despite all this, she still recruits and builds a full team of golfers - who she affectionally call "table scraps" - and wins the the Minority Collegiate Golf Championship.

Coach Starks battled many things, but the one big thing is something that women still face in the athletic world today: succeeding in a field dominated by men.

Fight for recognition is something females are still fighting for today. Fortunately we have some warriors who have already set the table for us and we met them tonight at a "Sports As A Classroom" panel sponsored by Harvard Business School. Our panel included, legendary Harvard women's basketball head coach, Kathy Delaney Smith, Harvard women's ice hockey head coach Katey Stone and a few of KDS former prestigious former players.

One of the first things mentioned by the moderator was over 80% of all current female CEOs played some type of sport. The reason was simple. Sports teaches important concepts we need if we are going to make our life a success. It teaches us teamwork and being a team player - a concept I take very seriously.

Back in May, when an Associate Director of Athletics at Harvard commended me for being a team player, that meant the world to me. It means more than any award I could receive or anything could accomplish in my career. If I can make someone's job a little bit easier that's what I want to do. And that is exactly what life is about. It is about taking care of the people next to you - whoever they are.

Another thing sports teaches is a sense of resilience.We're all going to fail. We're all going to lose a game, but we don't stop playing. We "just keep going" no matter what we are faced with. Sometimes it is a hard challenge, but we keep pushing forward.  Climbing the brick wall.

Current Massachusetts Attorney General and former Harvard basketball player Maura Healy spoke well on the subject of diversity and inclusion. When she mentioned that everyone brings something to the table, it made me think back to the13th hole of the fall ABCD get-togther of 2019.

Our birdie was a total team effort. We used our D-player's perfect drive, then our B-player hit a perfect ball down the middle of the fairway, 100-yards out from the green. I, being the A-player, hit one of the best shots I've ever hit in my life and the ball nuzzled six inches from the hole.

We drive down to the green and as we are getting out of our carts I call out to our C-player, "you're putting this ball. I'm not taking my putter." Her and I were the only two who walked down to the green. She made the putt and completed one of the best team birdies I have ever witnessed. (Oh and yes we came in first place for low net.)

These are the things that made Harvard an incredibly rewarding experience. It's the people that you are able to meet and forge lasting relationships. It's why I was always taken aback and hurt when I heard others (out of respect I won't name names) said mean things about Harvard, and how in his mind "it did me wrong."

That really hurt. It was an experience not everyone gets in their professional lives, but more importantly it hurt because of all the amazing people I was able to meet and form friendships with. I'm growing up and wouldn't trade it for the world. I just have to build on it.

I ended up walking back to the athletic complex parking lot with Crimson women's ice hockey associate head coach, Lee-J Mirasolo. It was pretty funny she's walking out the door behind me, on the phone, she says "I have no idea where I am." I yell back, not really expecting her to really pay attention, "turn left and you'll walk directly into the Stadium."

It was a good time and we had an enjoyable conversation back to the athletic complex.

Book of the Week: "The Four" by Scott Galloway

Weeks ago I introduced you to Scott Galloway's second book "The Algebra of Happiness." In that post I mentioned his first book "The Four" and how, in a nano-second, it was on my "to read list" this year.

The NYU marketing professor breaks down the four most powerful companies today and how they each are running the world we live in. Apple is the biggest technological company out, how many people do you know that DON'T have some type of Apple product? I'm guessing no one. Facebook is still the social media giant, despite Twitter and Snapchat coming into existence. Google is a media giant. And Amazon, well the only thing bigger IS the Amazon

These four big tech companies all have one thing in common and no, it's not they each have demanding bosses / founders. (They have that too.) What these four all share is is the notion that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

None of them were the first in their fields. They all had predecessors. Google had Yahoo! Facebook had MySpace. Apple: IBM and Amazon: the first online retail. They lived by the belief "the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." (The poor first mouse.) In fact, they are all still doing it.

After being rejected by Snapchat, Facebook purchased Instagram, taking all of Snapchat's instantaneous technology. Amazon corner in on the market of food buying "Whole Foods." Google's absorption of YouTube as well as this blogging platform. Apple acquiring other media sharing companies (i.e. Shazam) and companies that assist people in utilizing those companies (i.e. Beats).

This poses a good question. Since the "Big Four" keeps acquiring either a. its competition or b. companies that will strengthen its brand will there be a fifth?

May I present to you two businesses that have potential (and note I say potential) to be join the "Big Four" thus making them the "Power Five." The first one being Uber. It found a system in society that is broken, the taxi industry, and figured out a way to improve it, which made everyone's lives easier. In the process, it has thumbed its nose at regulations as the other four have done (i.e. Facebook's response that it is not a media outlet, it's a media platform so it doesn't have to abide by policies directed at media). Uber has the potential.

Here's another one that isn't mentioned in the book, but should be considered: Barstool Sports.

My personal opinions of the sports media platform are not top government secrets that are locked in Fort Knox, it's pretty apparent that I'm not a supporter of the platform. But I will give Barstool credit, it does have the potential to join the four.

It may have to clean up its image a little more, but that is exactly why Barstool has potential. Dave Portnoy and Barstool thrives on pushing the limits, like Mark Zuckerberg did with Facebook, Steve Jobs with Apple, and Jeff Bezos with Amazon. A lot of what Barstool does is not healthy for society, which is where it needs to clean up its act to become a member of the "Power Five." You can't have your founder acting like a petulant child and tweeted out his hatred for labor unions or, even more important, you can't continue its misogynistic message* against women.

With the way the media business is at today, the potential is there. But will Barstool want to clean up its act in order to achieve it is the real question?


*EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, despite Barstool CEO Erika Nardini's claim about the company not being misogynistic, if you have a patent and trademark on the term "Saturdays Are For The Boys" and if it's completely appropriate to keep demeaning comments about females on posts, yes you have a misogynistic culture. 

Book of the Week: "Together is Better" by Simon Sinek

One of my all-time favorite speakers is Simon Sinek. It was actually after watching one of Sinek's TedTalk's on YouTube that really pushed me further into becoming more self-aware and looking deeper into an organizations business model. And yes I have read both of his other books "Start With Why" and "Leaders Eat Last", but the book I'm bringing to you this week is a bit different.

It is a quick read with a lot of pictures (this should entice more people to pick up a copy). All coaches and team leaders in any industry need to pick up a copy. More than willing to borrow mine, I request you do one small thing: write your name in the inside cover. If you do that, I will take a photo and post on my Instagram story.

If you've ever watched one of Simon Sinek's speaking engagements, you will find many of his quintessential one-liners in this book. One of my personal favorites is "leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge." I love this quote because it hits close to home and something I've always said to few of my student-athletes and student workers.

While we all want that big title and the big salary that comes along with it, it doesn't automatically mean that we become the leader. It doesn't matter what your title is, you can still be a leader. As I said to a softball student-athlete once "you don't need a title to be a leader." If you're a student-athlete and you're upset at not being named a captain (I'm looking at you Montgomery De La Cruz), then this is for you. Leadership is not a rank. As long as you're looking out for the person to left of you and the person to the right of you, you are a leader. Bosses and captains have the shiny title that looks great on resumes, but leaders have the people's respect.

Another part of the book is incredibly hard-hitting is a two-page spread that shows two boys staring up at a massive wall. It reminds me of the title of this blog "climbing the brick wall." You see these two boys, staring up at it and can only imagine what they are are thinking. Are they thinking about 'what's on the other side? Is it better and how can I get there to tell?'

The purpose of the image is simple. You have to take action. A dream is only a dream unless you do something about it. So starting climbing and take people with you. The more people you bring along with you, the better leader you become.

BLOG: It's Not A "Millennial Thing"

Andrew Luck opened a door this weekend. He opened a door that has previously been closed and locked with the key hidden buried 50 feet under ground and one knows where to find it. (Similar to the Jay Jerahian ball mark that was lost in a bunker a few weeks ago.)

But as a fellow friend went back to the bunker and meticulously combed through the fine sand, she found the cherished ball mark, so too did Luck. Luck dug deep in the ground, discovered the key, unlocked and opened a door that has been closed for a long time.

There has long been an understanding, especially in sports, that if you're not physically sick or ill you have to look like you have it together, but that is far from the case. And it is the millennials who have noticed and are taking action.

You see millennials are not all bad people (speaking as someone who is on the older side of the generation). Many millennials (not all of them) are consciously aware of themselves and what they want, and it makes them targets to older generations, who grew up in the age of "sit down, do your time and your time will come."

Millennials are misunderstood. They want to make a difference. They don't fear change, unlike some older generations, they embrace it. They embrace doing things a little bit differently that what was done before. Remember the most dangerous phrase in business is "we've always done it this way."

We're slowly starting to see the change. Locally, we saw it this summer with long-time Hockey East Commissioner Joe Bertagna stepping down from his role within the organization in this well-crafted release.

On the professional level, we saw it first with Colin Kaepernick and his activism for "Black Lives Matter." Andrew Luck is now showing us that the belief that we need to be hyper-focused and super obsessed with our passions is actually hurting us as a society. With the increased development of artificial intelligence and technology, it benefits society greater to be more a more well-rounded person.

Sports has never been this way. Sports fans along with the majority of the athletes are all about the sport they play. It's their whole lives from the moment they open their eyes until they put their head down on the pillow at night. They live and breath the game. But it's unhealthy and one the reasons I, personally, don't like the term "sports" as well as the title "sports information director." It trivializes the activity and the profession and is the reason Barstool exists as an organization.

My preferred phrase is "athletics." It is a healthier term, bringing more prestige and awareness to the activities. Instead of using "sports" as an outlet to drink beer, use foul language, and gawk at scantily clad women in bars, use "athletics" as an outlet to improve your life. Participate recreationally with friends or family, instead of watching it on television and being a Twitter-analyst for people who really couldn't care less about your opinion.

Luck and Kaepernick are different from their colleagues. They both have lives and interests outside of football. The two are highly intelligent - Luck graduating from Stanford with a degree in architectural design and Kaepernick as deep political thinker and activist, he didn't score the highest score on NFL's Wonderlic test for no reason. Football is piece of their lives and who they are, not their entire life and does not define them as people. Many won't or can't understand this although most who read this post will.

The younger generation is coming and want change.

BOOK OF THE WEEK: "The Algebra of Happiness" by Scott Galloway

Remember sitting in middle school math class and saying to yourself "when am I ever going use algebra in real life?" Brace yourself folks, algebra is back - well, not quite, it's only in the title of the latest book I've picked off the shelf in Harvard Square. (Seriously, I may have a problem. Books are way too much fun. Wow! I bet none of my high school English teachers would ever imagine those words coming out of my mouth.)

It is NYU Stern School of Business professor Scott Galloway's second book. His first book was "The Four: The Hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Google." Now, I haven't read that book yet, but since watching his Ted Talk on the subject is on the list of future books. Book number two is a little more introspective. He talks about his life and goes deep into truly finding happiness and what has made him happy.

Because he talks about his life and some deeply personal experiences everyone that reads it will take something different from it. It's a quick and easy read. It took me (a relatively slow reader) only two days to go through. I couldn't put it down.

Early on in the book I was able to draw a parallel to last week's book "Flow." Galloway talks about the correlation of money and happiness, mentioning money can only bring happiness up to a certain dollar amount (usually $75,000 annually). The true thing that makes people happy is finding the activities that bring joy (aside from mind altering substances like drugs or alcohol). These are interests and hobbies like playing basketball, going for a bike ride, cooking, reading, or whatever let's you get lost an activity for hours.

This concept is called 'flow.' Flow what a person experiences when doing something he/she loves and time seems to fly by. For a moment, think about yourself reading a novel. The book is so good you can't put it down and just have to keep turning the page. Before you know it, you look at the clock and it's 1 a.m. and you think "oh crap, I have to go to sleep, work is in six hours." That's flow. (Also that does happen when reading this book, which is why I finished it in two days.)

Book of the Week: "Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

This week's book of the week is more upbeat than one of the previous ones. Sorry for the downer with "What Made Maddy Run," but I find it's a topic of mental health to be crucial as it pertains to all college students.

I began reading the book "Flow" a few weeks ago, but I'm still in the middle of it. I'm not a fast reader even though by all accounts it may seem like I am. The Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explores why certain experiences enjoyable, while others are not through a state of flow in his national bestseller.

To truly achieve the optimal experience in everyday life is difficult. The line chart on page 74 (image is below) explains the concept best. We achieve flow when our skill sets match our challenges. If our challenges are too high and our skill sets are weak, then we will experience anxiety; if our skills are too high, but our challenges are low, we will be bored. Neither one of these are optimal experiences. We want to be challenged in relation to where our skills are.

Think of it as though you were playing a game of tennis. You're a moderate player with average skills. If you were playing against a seven year old, you'd be bored because that seven year old does not possess the skills you do. But it works the other way, too. If you were playing against Serena Williams, you would be filled with anxiety because Serena is a professional tennis player and would more likely than not intimidate you and hit the ball THROUGH the chain link fence behind you on the serve.

Finding the flow experience is, matching your challenges to your skills.

This works in everyday life as well. When you are at work, you want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. You never want to be the smartest person in the room. (Note: if you find out you are the smartest person in the room, then maybe it's time to find a new circle.) It was what made being Harvard last year and this past summer an optimal experience. I wasn't the smartest person in the room. Clearly! Working with people who are smarter and can bring new, innovative ideas to the table.

It also forces you to raise your standards. You wouldn't, necessarily, do the same things at Harvard that you may be able to get away with a place other that is not Harvard.

This leads me into my next concept. Because something is NOT Harvard / less prestigious does not mean 1. it's any less valuable 2. it also does NOT mean you should be any less professional and not set high standards. No matter where you are there should always be a set of standards you should be consistently aiming to push past them. It's the reason athletics / sports is so great.

Athletics is the optimal flow experience. There really is nothing better than to push through limitations to see what can be achieved. A pitcher is continually striving to strike out the more batters than in his previous outing. Golfers are aiming to improve their score from one day to the next. Even if they have a career day, athletes - across all levels - are constantly looking for ways to get better.

Tom Brady is a six time Super Bowl champion with four Super Bowl MVPs and three league MVPs, but he is still out working every single day. He see stills sees himself as that sixth round draft pick, still finds holes in his game - whether it is a poor throw, bad reads or his less than fast running ability and looks to improve. He's never satisfied.

And let me let you in to a little secret: the truly greats ARE never satisfied. They are constantly striving to be better.