Video of the Day: 5 Phrases That Show Lack of Confidence

5 Common Phrases That Show You Lack Confidence

Charisma On Command

1. Using the word "Obviously"

2. "You should" 

This phrase actually tends to put people on the defensive. If people aren't doing things the way you would do it, you're going to have a natural inclination to say "you should do it this way," but this is the wrong approach. Generally, when people hear the phrase "you should," immediately they are thinking "if your can do it better, then you do it." 

My go to methodology to avoid this phrase is offering a suggestion by saying "this is the way I deal with this situation, it doesn't work for everyone, but give it try." 

It's one of main rules Dale Carnegie stresses in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." You'll win people over by making them feel like it was their idea offering suggestions rather than telling them what to do. 

3. Using the word "Real"

4. "No, But"

5. "More Difficult Than ... "

This phrase doesn't just show that you lack confidence, it also show that you don't care about what is going on in the lives of others. You may be a mother of four kids, but you really can't say your life is more difficult than your single colleague. Maybe that single colleague is taking care of a sick parent in another state, he/she is pursuing a second degree, or taking care of sick friend because he/she has no one else. You don't know the whole situation and can't assume your life is harder. 

I've had someone say to me, about four years ago "you have never faced adversity." I was taken aback a little by that comment. Granted I am young, but it does not mean I haven't had my struggles.