Written along with former drug addict turned motivational speaker, Damon West, the pair discuss an issue of importance in today's ever connected world.
We currently live in a world that is more connected through social media than at any other time in history. It's both a good thing and a bad thing. The good part is we can keep in touch with friends and family we may not see on an everyday basis; the bad thing is it has become increasingly negative, thus raises anxiety levels of the society. (Social media is great at doing this.)
Using the example of a carrot, an egg and a coffee bean and each one's reaction when placed in boiling, hot water, it is analogous to our every day lives and the stressors and challenges we face.
When you put a carrot in water, it softens. Life's "carrots," when they endure challenges they become weaker. An egg is just the opposite when it comes into contact with hot water, it hardens. The "eggs" in life become angry, resentful, and mean when encountering stress. You don't want to be either one of those.
But what about the coffee bean? Well, the coffee bean when it comes into contact with boiling water, it transforms. It, eventually, turns into coffee.
That's what you should be in life. Be a coffee bean. Transform to the environment, grow from the failure you have endured; don't be weakened or hardened by it. As the saying goes "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." You can be a carrot and give up; an egg and become hard and close yourself off; or you can be the coffee bean and accept what happened and figure out your next steps. (A certain former softball coach I worked with had a term for this: #FITFO.)
So exactly what are you?
A carrot, an egg or a coffee bean. It's your choice.
I'm back! Yes I know it's been sometime since my last "book of the week" blog, but this one is a good one. It's about the man who most of us grew up watching as toddlers before we entered formal school: Fred Rogers.
The man was an iconic when to children. As we grew older into adulthood, we began to be a little more cynical of Mister Rogers. Could there really be a guy out there who was truly that nice?
Mister Rogers saw the good in everything and everyone he encountered. Today that is almost an anomaly in our social media driven world, where a lot posted to Twitter is negative and Instagram is life's highlight reel. It always seemed as Mister Rogers was too good to be true. A unicorn.
But as many people who knew him well, Mister Rogers was a genuine man. What you saw is what you got with him and we need this book now more than ever. When things may be getting crazy and life takes us down a different road than we imagined, we have to be able to hit the curveball. But also, most importantly, take a step back and breathe.
If any one is following on my Instagram, you would have seen that the last few days I've been posting a few short four or five word liners. Those are are from the second half of the book and are ways to live more like Mister Rogers today.
THE FIRST WAY: Be Deep and Simple
One the phrases he was most known for and that he made a song is "it's you I like." Four words. They don't mean all that much, but when put together it is deep. If you don't remember the song, I highly recommend going to YouTube and searching it. Wait ... I'll do it for you. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
In the world we live in today, many people are so fascinated with showing off all their new gadgets, cars, fancy watches, earings, job promotions, etc., well that's not what life is about. Life is about people.
So, Life Solution No. 1: When you're feeling down or stuck turn this song on, it will help.
THE SECOND WAY: Be Kind To Strangers
This is pretty self explanatory. We don't know what is going on in other people's lives. On the outside, he may be a great job, but at home he is struggling to be a good father to his children and husband to wife. Something as simple as a smile, or a simple "hi how are you you?" can go a long way.
Life Solution No. 2: Do a small favor for someone, something as simple as buying them a coffee or putting money in the meter. Remember "Little Drops Make Big Drops."
THE THIRD WAY: Make Joyful Noise
You may not be where you want to be right no, but look for the good you can take from it today and bring positivity to it.
Life Solution No. 3: Listen to an uplifting song.
THE FOURTH WAY: Tell The Truth
Being genuine and authentic to everyone you meet. One of the things that made everyone love Mister Rogers was that he was genuinely a nice guy. (It's also why everyone loves Jerry York.) Don't talk down to people. From experience, I know how it feels to be talked down to and disrespected. It's a horrible feeling and makes you feel less valuable.
Life Solution No. 4: Treat everyone you meet as a human, no matter what their title may be.
THE FIFTH WAY: Connect With Other People Every Way You Can
Don't limit yourself to just your core group of friends or co-workers. Open yourself and get to know other people. You may find you have more in common with them than you think. Trust me on this one I discovered this, this past weekend the Ivy League men's swimming and diving championships.
Life Solution No. 5: Talk to one person at school, or work that you ordinarily wouldn't talk to.
THE SIXTH WAY: Love Your Neighbors
A slight continuation from the fifth way and insinuates Mister Rogers belief that everyone should like everyone - no matter how different they may be. In order to do big things, grow and over come obstacles, we all need to be part of a community.
Life Solution No. 6: Show Up and Be Part of the Community; Be A Team Player
THE SEVENTH WAY: Find The Light In The Darkness
We're all going to go through hard times in life, but when you're going through those time it's even more important to look for the possibility of good things happening. Harvard has taught me a lot. It taught me a lot about myself as well as technical skills that I used to bring joy / happiness to others outside Ivy League institution.
Life Solution No. 7: Be Grateful For What You Do Have'
THE EIGHTH WAY: Always See The Very Best In Other People
Mister Rogers often got parodied and spoofed by a lot of late night comedy shows such as Saturday Night Life and The Tonight Show as well as other comedians. Sometimes he was ok with it, but it still didn't change the fact that it hurt. (Similar to the "low-five." Certainly, there was no malice intended, but not how one expects to be treated as a professional.)
Life Solution No. 8: Put Yourself In Their Shoes
THE NINTH WAY: Accept The Changing Seasons
There are very few givens in life, but one of them is that there are going to be changes. Things are going to come up and you're going to have to adapt to them. Whether it is adjusting to a new social media trend, it's raining out and you can't take your group of seven year olds to the park, or a swim event gets re-seeded, it happens. You have to be able to hit the curveball - ok well unless you're Xander Bogaerts.
Life Solution No. 9: Go with the Flow
THE TENTH WAY: Share What You've Learned (All Your Life)
One of the things I'm best at. I have over a decade of professional experience in athletic communication, I enjoy helping others, especially the younger rising stars and molding them. There's not a lot I haven't seen in the field (aside from having a computer re-start in the middle of a volleyball set, never saw that before), so as long as I can take that knowledge and pass it along, I'm happy.
