Book of the Week: "Surrounded By Idiots" by Thomas Erikson

Have you ever been at work and colleague said something or asked a question that you thought the answer was obvious and you think to yourself "this person is an idiot?" If you answer no, then I know you're lying. In the world of work, this stuff happens. We are forced to work with many different people, who all have different experience levels and tendencies and we have to know how to work best with them. 

This book made me think back to a course I took at Harvard about how to effectively communicated with different styles and it is similar to the DiSC training that is offered to many student-athletes. Taking that course at Harvard was simply one of the best things I ever did. 

It teaches you the four different types of human behavior through four distinct color. Everyone in the world is not just one color; we are a mixture of two or three, but one color is dominant. A red person is someone who likes to be control, they usually have the last word and make the final decision. They can also be fiery, competitive, and quick-tempered. Think Dude Perfect's leader, Tyler Toney. 

Yellow people are your creatives. They are the ones who are most enjoyable to be around because they bring out the positive energy of everyone around them and can connect with almost anyone. In his book "Go Big" author Cory Cotton described his twin brother, Coby, as the the type of person who can talk to anyone - even when boarding a plane. Coby Cotton, although his battle wins may be few and far between, is a yellow. His endless positivity and enthusiasm is what his four friends really value in him. 

The "Tall Man" Cody Jones can also be described as a yellow. While his personality is a bit more outgoing than Coby's, Cody is full of energy and always has something to say. He enjoys a little bit of trash-talk when competing in battles and one-up his pals. 

Another person I can describe as a yellow and was also featured on this blog three months ago, is the author of "Help Them Up," Dan Horwitz. How could someone who wrote a book aimed at empowering teams not be a yellow? Dan is super inspiring person to anyone he meets and just being around him makes you feel better as a person - a big yellow characteristic. 

The third type of color a person can predominately be is green. Greens are probably the most common people on the the planet. "If everyone were an enthusiastic entertainer, there would be no one to amuse." While reds and yellows are more active and lean more towards extroversion, greens are more passive. They true team players, who are super loyal to the cause. See "Twin 2," Cory Cotton. 

And last but certainly not least, are blues. Blues can be described as methodical and systemic. They are the ones that read through the instructions thoroughly before starting to build and always come with questions. It's not that they doubt others, but they would rather "trust, but verify." Garrett Hilbert, the quiet, laidback one who enjoys cleanliness, can be viewed as blue. 

Each one of these four behavior types has their strengths, but they also have their weaknesses which can make it more difficult to get along and get things done. Your Blues and Greens tend to be more introverted, while Reds and Yellows, enjoy being out there. Reds, who are constantly on the move and active, may feel the Greens complaints of work is tiresome and vice-versa, Greens feel the showman-persona of Reds quickly gets old. 

One of the toughest challenges a manager can face is getting a Yellow and Blue to work together. They are literally the polar opposites. Yellows don't fear the uncertainty and not knowing all the details, they are willing to jump right in, but for Blues, who are systematic and routine oriented, that is a scary concept. Putting those two types of people together can go as well as adding kerosene to a camp fire. If done poorly, it can - and will - combust. 

From a manager's point of view, you really have to know your employees as person and what drives them. Not everyone is going to be the same, think like you and do things exactly the way you want them to get done. People are different and with many different colors coming together, it is your job as the team leader to get all of them to work cooperatively with one and another. 

As a worker and colleague, a little self-awareness goes a long way. Remember that people's past experiences shape the behaviors they are exhibiting today. 

BOOK OF THE WEEK: "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

This book draws parallels to three different mediums, but they all have one thing in common: the trials and tribulations of being in high school. 

First things first, it's Charlie's first day of high school. He is portrayed as an introverted, spectator in life, who has seen too much trauma, too early in his young life. His one best friend in middle school, Michael, took is own life under the guise of "problems at home." Now, it's not clear if this is the reason why he spent time in the hospital, but it is definitely a contributing factor. 

It's in this regard that Charlie draws similarities to the character Clay Jensen in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. He - dissociates - blacks out and couldn't remember that he took scissors to his hair and just started cutting. Dissociative Identity Disorder - or D.I.D. as it is called - is a scary disorder where the person who is afflicted, dissociate with the what is going on around them. 

Clay Jenson's character, a quirky, introverted, but well-meaning high school teen, has seen his fair trauma over the course of the four-season series. Couple this with the normal teenage angst of high school it can be a lot and forced him to experience his own dissociative episodes in the final series. 

Towards the end of the series, Clay's father, Matt, while sitting next to Justin's bedside, said something profound. "High school is different today, but in many ways not. High school has always been something to be survived, but it can be," which is something the adult Charlie conveys in the 20th Anniversary Edition Afterward. That no matter what how difficult your high school years they can be survived. Just putting one foot in front of the other and "keep going." Because like the the Rodney Atkins song suggests "if you're going through hell, just keep going." 

Which brings into the picture the third medium, Bowling For Soup's 2006 hit "High School Never Ends," which uses high school as an analogy that life after high school really doesn't change, that people are still stuck on on the superficial concerns. But things can change. 

If you're constantly finding yourself being the smartest person in the room, then it's time to find another room. Swimming with fishes isn't going to making improve your ability if you want to be shark. It's like a 15-year-old playing basketball with a group of fifth graders. That 15-year-old is going to be developing anything skills that will take them to the next level. If you want to see change, and I mean REAL change, you have to improve the circle that is around you. 

Book of the Week: "Five Feet Apart" by Rachael Lippincott

This is second book I read that I was driven to read by a movie / series of the same name. It comes on the heels of the book that was made into a, four-season, Netflix series "13 Reasons Why." 

During the summer of 2020, I came across a YouTube reaction vlog of the movie by a current cystic fibrosis patient. From his video, what drew me to the movie was I recognized the actor who played one of the two lead characters - Cole Sprouse. Sprouse was best known for playing Adam Sandler's "son" Julian in Big Daddy alongside his twin brother, Dylan, and starring with Dylan in the Disney Channel's "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." 

Sprouse plays a young, defiant cystic fibrosis patient, Will Newman, who was being treated in an experimental treatment program for B. cepacia. He meets a fellow CFer, Stella Grant, who is the polar opposite of Will. She is regimented in taking her medicine and doing her treatment. "Five Feet Apart" has a real The Fault In Our Stars feeling to it.

Compared to the last book I read that was made into Netflix series ("13 Reasons Why"),  the Five Feet Apart script really mimicked the book. This reasoning could be simply be because I read "13 Reasons Why" after I had already watched three seasons of the series. I had more knowledge of the character arcs and the development of the characters themselves. Maybe if I read the book after the first season of 13 Reasons Why, I would think the same thing as with Five Feet Apart.

The title of the book also sparked interest. The term "five feet apart" is based on a rule that applies to cystic fibrosis patients. Because most people with CF has increased mucus in their lungs, it provides a great home for infection-causing bacteria and this bacteria is very dangerous, even life-threatening to other CFers. This is why doctors recommend the six-foot-rule between CF patients. But today we ALL are following that one rule. 

But how exactly did the book go from six feet to five feet? The five feet was an idea Stella came up with when she knew she really liked Will, but new that his health condition (B. cepacia) was bad her own health and put the possibility of getting new lungs at risk. She always played by the rules, a goody two-shoes you might say. CF had stolen much from her in her life and she wanted to take one thing back and she was willing to steal back one foot. 

With a The Fault In Our Stars feeling towards it, Will and Stella were good for each other. Stella was able to get Will to see the advantages of having more time, while Will made Stella aware that there was more to living life than the inside of hospital walls and her medication regimen. But standing in the way was their way was their respiratory therapist, Barb. 

She tried to keep Will and Stella apart as much as she could, but it was not because she wanted to be mean. Barb had a guilty conscience. Years before Stella and Will arrived on the floor, she had another pair of CF patients that fell for each other that she let break the rules because they were madly in love. One contracted B. cepacia from the other and died. Due to time constraints, the book went into greater detail of the other couple's relationship and made Barb appear more warm than her movie counterpart. 

Two other aspects that the book was able elaborate more that affected the main character's story arc was Stella's relationship with her older, sister Abby. The movie made you guess that Abby died a year prior, but the screenwriters decided not to elaborate on Abby's death and how it affected their parents. The book dived into the accident that caused Abby's accident and how Stella has survivor's guilt believing she has to keep herself alive for her divorced parents sake. 

I came across this movie / book because of a known actor from my younger days, but also because of the terminology that has become so salient in our everyday language today. Six feet apart has become social distancing and wearing masks has become pretty common place, but to cystic fibrosis patients it's been relatively normal. 

Book of the Week: "Trust" by Pete Buttigieg

If there is one word for 2021, it would have to be Trust.

There were a lot of things lost in 2020, but the biggest one is trust. As a society, we have lost trust in our government and only making matters worse, that same government of ours has lost the trust of some of our more fervent supporters by our actions (i.e. the way our government has handled the COVID-19 pandemic). But trust can be restored. 

While it may be hard to trust the government to do what is right for us, it is paramount that we put our trust in them and, mutually, they put their trust in us. That's the way a society works. Everyday we are in some sense or another putting our trusty in someone else's hands. When we are crossing the street, we trust the guy driving down the road will stop at the crosswalk and won't run us over. We put our trust in the cashier in the store that when we hand them a 20 dollar

bill for an item that costs eight dollars, we will get the 12 dollars back. Those are all little things, but they add up to big things. (Little Drops Make Big Drops.) 

I'm not trying to be all sunshine and roses here and say trust is easy, because it is far from it. If you're one of the fortunate people who who is part of the majority, trust is easy. You don't have to worry about driving five miles over the speed limit, but if you're African-American you don't have that type of luxury. You've seen from past experiences - either directly or indirectly - that there are people out there with ulterior motives. 

See the case of Sandra Bland and Texas state trooper Brian Encinia. On a July afternoon in 2015, Officer Encinia pulled over Bland, who had recently moved to Texas, for failing to signal a lane change. After approaching the car, Bland appeared agitated, but Encinia did nothing to mitigate Bland's angst and the situation escalated to Encinia threatening to pull her from the car. He called for back up and when back-up came, Bland was arrested. She was found dead, hanging from a noose in her jail cell three days later. Encinia was fired for not attempting to de-escalate the situation. 

This all could have been avoided and Bland would still be alive today if Encinia practice patience and did not engage in argumentative behavior despite being faced with it. Encinia was a Texas state trooper for just under a year and that span of time he wrote over 1,500 tickets - including issuing tickets for minor offenses such as not having the proper reflected tape or small speeding infractions. He was looking to use his power. And that is exactly what he did in Bland's case. 

What Encinia did not know was Bland was trying to rebuild herself. Moving to another state, starting a new job, only to fall into the same scenario that left her broken in the first place. She was distraught and i crisis the days before she ended her life. And it was all because the officer had a power trip. He didn't trust her and she didn't trust him. 

That is why trust is extremely important. It is a case of life and death - and not just about COVID deaths. Across the board. 

(Note the example of Sandra Bland came from Malcolm Gladwell's "Talking to Strangers" which was a book of the week back in November, 2019.)