Book of the Week: "Just Don't Be An Asshole" by Kate Kinney Cartwright

In 2020, it has become very easy to become an asshole. We are all working remotely and stuck in our virtual Zoom boxes (thank you Simmons field hockey senior Liz Poteat for that metaphor). There are certain things that we will say via email, text, or Tweet, that we wouldn't ordinarily say in person. It's become way too easy this year to be an asshole. 

While perusing Barnes & Noble, I came across Kate Kinney Cartwright's book "Just Don't Be An Asshole: A Surprisingly Necessary Guide To Being A Good Guy." A book she primarily penned to give to her two teenage sons as a reminder that while being an asshole may feel good in the moment, in the end it will backfire. 

(Editor's note: I originally had created a different thumbnail for this post. It was more creative and, potentially, funnier - aimed directly at someone who was an asshole to me, but upon reflection if I included it, I would be the asshole in that situation. But I didn't want it to backfire on my end. So in Michelle Obama's world view, I'm going high when they go low. Private message me on one of my social media channels if you really want to see the first one.) 

In the working world it is of utmost importance not to be an asshole. It's Pre-School 101 - yet some may need a refresher course. You get more out of it by not being a jerk to your colleagues, supervisors and peers. If you're not an asshole, and an otherwise pleasant person to be around, people will end up doing good things for you. I've experience this first hand. 

E-Mail is a necessary evil in the working world. We get so many emails a day that deserve a response and one of the worst things to do is receive an email addressed only to you asking you to do something, and not following up with a 'got it' or a 'will do.' Leaving the sender guessing as to if you're going to do it or even if you saw the email, puts you in "asshole territory." Acknowledgment of receipt and responding appropriately; it's the courteous thing to do and let's the sender know you're on it. 

Speaking of email, it also paramount that you read every email in its entirety. This may be a monotonous task, especially if it's a long message, but it leaves very little to be misunderstood. If you only read the first half of the message, you may miss an important question at the end. 

While we're on the subject of email content, if you're recipients are reading the entire message, please keep it to the point. If you're sending an email to your constituents around the Columbus Day / Indigenous Peoples Day, it is really unnecessary to add an obscure fact that "Columbus didn't discover America, Vespucci did."* This random piece of trivia doesn't affect the email content, so it should be left out. And you're not showcasing your intelligence, you're acting pretentious, which is an asshole tendency. 

In those meetings we find ourselves sitting in at work (i.e. "Circle Time" in Pre-School 101), it's imperative to "kill it." Be prepared to speak when it's your turn for area updates. Come with substance and what you are working on that week. This is your time time shine and show your co-workers what you've been doing - especially if you have a guest attending that meeting that week. If that guest is a member of the senior administration team, you're going to want to impress that person. Even if that guest isn't an upper admin, but a fellow colleague, it is still important to show up with substance. 

And last but certainly not least, still "respect your elders." The veterans in whatever field you are in know, the youngsters are around the corner and are rising exponentially. The know the younger generation knows technology better than they do and brings a different skillset to the table, which is intimidating to them because they know their time is limited. But the skill of experience as well as the skill of "not-being-an-asshole" is something they still can bring to the table. So respect them. 

*  - Amerigo Vespucci was an Italian merchant and western explorer in the late 15th century, but the fact that he discovered the America's prior to Christopher Columbus is not entirely accurate. Columbus landed upon the Americas believing it was Asia and refusing to believe there was a landmass between Europe and Asia on western side. It was Vespucci, who deemed the Americas were not part of Asia, thus deriving the name "America." But still no need to include this random factoid in a work email.